Tips and Advice to the Readers to bear in mind when they are dating an Aspie

 So you want to know what to do when you are taking an Aspie out on a date or to socialise with her or even want to go to the next level with her. You will need to be aware that it may not always be an easy task to do as for some of us AspieGirls may tend to just shy away a bit as many of us maybe are introverts yet we should not have to assume that despite if we are that we can be alright in some situations and circumstances when it arises. I hope that these tips will give you a clearer understanding to how it is and to ease your mind a bit to make you comfortable and being able to enjoy your time with her.

Make sure that you tell the Aspie what your intentions are

I mean in this that if you fancy her, tell her, let her know, and do not play around with her and muck her around. This may be scary for some of you or even difficult for some people when they do this yet it is all about honesty and integrity. We know that it is hard sometimes as some NTs will tend to flirt so much and that many of us Aspies will not know what you are really meaning or doing when this happens. I am now starting to learn some of the behaviours and body language of some of the guys that are around me who may flirt with me or towards me now than I did when I was first diagnosed yet again sometimes I do misread and sometimes some people will tend to just play around so much that will then cause so much confusion and for us to get so overwhelmed. Some of us Aspies may tend to flirt and some others will not yet that will depend on whether that individual does so or not when it comes to us socializing and communicating with others around us. If you really do like her for what you see in her or what you know of her do tell her by clearly stating it to make it easy such as “I really like you, I am interested in getting to know you more as a person or I fancy you.” Most of us Aspie females will be really honest to the point that we get hurt the most when that happens and will return an answer to you or agree with you that she fancies you too and will try and go out with you or she may even just dismiss you and say that it may not work. Sometimes, some AspieGirls tend to want to be alone yet then some may want to try something new like dating and more. Give her time so that she can digest what she needs to say to you so that she can know what is socially acceptable and more. Do not forever rush her or push her to go out with her.

Be strict and precise about where you are taking her.

It may be a surprise or something romantic but it will be worth the wait. Yet, sometimes we do need to know what it may involve if we did need to take good clothes or spare clothes somewhere else. I had that mistake one day taking my good clothes or shall I say wearing them and it was not what I expected to be at the time. Sometimes, when it comes to making sure of what you are saying about where you are going with her on a date she may need to do her own research. Like for example to take her somewhere special she will probably see how long it will take, when you are going, and what you will be doing. This will help ease the stress for Aspie as what ifs and whys will then make it more unbearable for her as well as you.

Be precise at the time when you are going to meet and where to keep to it

If you say for example that you were taking her to the beach and have a picnic or barbeque and told her how long you are wanting to be there for as it is important to keep to that time for that schedule as many of us Aspies do tend to run on schedules and times yet many of us will try to be flexible for you if you are intending for us to have a back-up plan again be sure to have one. The Aspie female is the kind of person that will want to be on there on the dot and in that place as she will think in her mindset to what she has learned, taught, and instilled in her to be there on the dot and be sure if anything arises, communicate to her and do not leave her hanging or waiting around expecting that something bad happened or what have you. Communication is really important no matter what. Explain so that she can understand so that she will not have what ifs and maybes.

Find the right way to communicate with her and be sure that she is comfortable with the type of communication process she wants.

Some of us Aspies do not like being called for when we want to go on a date. Some of us may want you to talk to her in person about what you have in mind for a date or even sometimes even if it is a delayed response to text her. Some of the Aspies will have triggered a stress response as need to text her if you were to ring her and do give her time to respond so that she can have a moment to give her a moment to digest the information that you have given.

Do not push her out of her comfort zone or just to make her feel uncomfortable.

I have noticed when I have been dating a few people or just to socialize that sometimes I will get pushed around to at least hang out more. When I have had enough, I will say so even if I do retreat to my room to at least re-energize my social battery and more. Do not think that you have the right to keep pushing her as you need to understand that when it comes to going out and doing things some of the activities she will do will tire her out and need her time to rest and more. We can put intensity with the sensory input as we do know how to deal with it and more. Do not be angry and be understanding and try to understand that she will put her sensory input. Do not think that it is your fault for the emotional delay processing that we need to do later on.

Give her time when you are with her

We process information and emotions slower than some of us do. We experience so intensively and whenever something that happens as we may process information and sometimes we may plan the next outing. This is a process not to speed up but it is okay.

Plan a place with care when going out.

I mean that there needs to be some planning as sometimes with crowded places like a party or pub that socializing with others are going to be overwhelming. Find an outing that she is comfortable with and let you in to see what you can do and that there are times when inviting others to people that can be a safe place for us like being in our house.

Keep in mind her routine when going out places.

Be sure when it comes to when you go out that sometimes many of us Aspies do tend to keep to a schedule and that we would like you all to understand and at least be respectful of this. Some of us Aspies as said before will be able to be flexible and open to try and change a few things to fit into your schedule so be able to give her that opportunity as well as to also be able to know that she is giving her attention and more to you.

Understand that if the Aspie does tend to cancel at the last minute

Sometimes, it is okay for us Aspies to say no yet sometimes noticed when dating and in relationships that everything has to be done at once no matter what it may be. I feel that sometimes, I do need a time out for me too to recharge my batteries and that I need to know what I am to do next for me if I have to do anything that is important.