Here’s How To Do It

 

Let me tell you that it’s never easy living with any mental illness as this can wreak havoc in our lives and that it can really taunt and torment us if we let it. You see every day is a struggle for many of us and I am one of them that struggles with this mental illness and many more I do everything I can to cope regardless of some judgment, stigmatization, and stereotyping from others.

 

 

 

Some may say it’s all in your head! Get over it! And, the most common phrases that can turn into my pet peeves as others don’t know what’s like until you live with it unless you want to walk in my shoes and are empathetic and patient enough with me to get through my day no matter what the day will bring for us both.

 

 

 

 

They are the type of people who go above and beyond for the people they care about. And, above all, they are the ones who will appreciate you the most. Dating a girl with anxiety is a tricky situation, oftentimes, but this is something that we shouldn’t give up on these types of people. They are here for a reason and a season to teach us, to help us to grow, to mature, to learn and so much more.

So, here are a few tips/advice I want to share with you all as I can share this from someone who struggles with anxiety and they are as follows:

1. Remain open-minded.

It’s important to always remain open-minded as well as also in saying this to be patient in your relationship and not shut down or cut them off when they have worries or doubts. Girls with anxiety sometimes need a bit more TLC or assurance than others, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t believe in you. It means that they love you enough to worry about losing you – and that, should always be a compliment.

 

2. Remember it doesn’t get better overnight.

Like many disorders or illnesses, there is no cure, no magical fix, no magic wand to say abracadabra, etc that will take everything away overnight. It can be manageable and we can cope and manage our mental illness with the right help and support from others that we will reach out to and trust. If we let you in, you’re one of the many that we will put our trust in but please treat our trust with care as this is fragile. If the person you love is struggling but taking the necessary steps to get them better – be patient with them. Show your support even by just listening to them when they’re going through so much that it can be hard for them to carry sometimes, and they are leaning on you as their support and rock during the difficult times as well as the good times. Don’t forever run away because you think that what we are going through is tough as we sure as hell know that you could be struggling too and we will be able to be there for you as a returned favor or show some appreciation in our own way to thank you for being there. Realize what they are doing it’s not just for themselves, but for you as well.

 

3. When they need help – be there.

Sometimes, support is needed during episodes of anxiety or any other form of mental illness that they struggle with. Some people feel better when they know they’re safe, and can turn to the person that they know they can trust be it their family, friends, or their partner in crime, and being with someone who cares, loves them, and can protect them – even if nothing seems to be wrong. You’re not in their head or don’t think that you can read their mind while they’re struggling and doing all they can to cope day by day, you can’t really understand what’s going on until they feel that they can turn to you to talk to – but, you can be there to support them and help them feel better. Even if it’s something that’s as simple as cuddling up and rubbing their back, playing with their hair, or watching a movie – that is all that matters to them.

 

 

4. When they need space – give them space

Other people combat anxiety better when they’re not bothered, touched, or triggered. Remember, a person with anxiety knows their triggers—if someone asks for space, don’t be pushy trying to be the problem solver all the time or even trying to fix a problem if there was one or not. Oftentimes, if a person requires alone time, it’s for a good reason to have this as this will help us to rejuvenate, rewind and relax and come back to others when ready in our time.

5. Do not treat them like a sick person.

Anxiety is very real and very scary for most of it that deal with this on a daily and for more reason to not judge or criticize the person that is going through this– but that doesn’t mean you should treat someone as though they’re a sick patient and disabled. No one suffering from any illness – mental or physical – wants to be treated as any less of a person due to their illness. Treat them like a human.

 

Do not belittle them. Do not look down on them. Do not treat them with less respect or admiration.

 

 

 

6. Be realistic with your needs & vice versa

 

Not everyone is fully, emotionally, and mentally capable of dealing with anxiety disorders. It’s okay to be open and honest and admit when your needs are not being met. In return, listen to your partner when she’s discussing her needs. Sometimes, you two may not see eye-to-eye and realize, it won’t work out. It’s okay to admit when it isn’t working out – don’t hide your uncertainty because you’re too scared to hurt someone who is “fragile.” Be upfront and honest with her, allowing her to find someone who is better suited for her.

 

7. Don’t assume everything is “because of her anxiety.”

 

When you get into arguments, don’t pull the anxiety card out – it’s a low blow. Some things in your relationship may differ in their outcome because of her anxiety, but, that doesn’t mean every disagreement or difference of opinion is a direct result because of this. Don’t blame her anxiety for everything wrong, and don’t use it as a cop-out during fights to get your way.

 

8. Do some research

 

It is good to do some research about mental illness or anything as they say knowledge is power and what we use that knowledge of ours is better than wasting time and energy that may not be as important as you think. The best way to understand something you aren’t personally going through is to read and educate yourself. No, you don’t need to go and buy 17 books on anxiety disorders and how to cope with them, but read up on a few websites on just how people react to anxiety and ways to help aid and combat it. The more you know, the better you’ll understand.

9. Focus on the positive aspects of your relationship.

 

There was a reason you fell in love with her in the first place – despite any anxiety she feels daily or as time goes on throughout the day. Focus on the positive things you two have together and what makes you both happy. Don’t focus so much on her problems and focus more on ways in which she enhances your life and makes it better. Giving her that validation will not only make you see the bigger picture, but it’ll also ease her worries.

10. Realize the bigger picture.

 

Sometimes, they’ll double-text you. Sometimes, they’ll wonder if you still love them just as much as in the beginning. Sometimes, they’ll be uneasy about you going away. It’s not because they don’t trust you. It is not that they are doubting you.  It’s because they’re scared and they worry – they worry that you’re going to have enough of their anxiety and walk away – finding someone more “normal,” “easier to deal with,” “more laid back.”

They worry because they love you and don’t want to live life without you.