Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD for short  can cause misunderstandings, frustrations, and resentments in your closest relationships. But there are ways to build a healthier, happier partnership. In this post it will cover the following: H0w does ADHD or ADD affect relationships Symptoms of ADHD that can cause problems in the relationship Tips for increasing understanding in your relationship Tips for the non-ADHD partner Tips for the partner with ADHD Helping your partner with ADHD   How does ADHD or ADD affect relationships?   While the distractibility, disorganization, and impulsivity of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD or ADD) can cause problems in many areas of adult life, these symptoms can be particularly damaging when it comes to your closest relationships. This is especially true if the symptoms of ADHD have never been properly diagnosed or treated. Here is a few advice that I can give you all from someone who has ADHD to gain a better understanding of your partner and to be pateint and empathetic towards us and we showing that same retrospect to you all too if we are in a relationship. We know that it’s all about balance and compromise also.     If you’re the person with ADHD You may feel like you’re constantly being criticized, nagged, and micromanaged. No matter what you do, nothing seems to please your spouse or partner. You don’t feel respected as an adult, so you find yourself avoiding your partner or saying whatever you have to in order to get them off your back. You wish your significant other could relax even a little bit and stop trying to control every aspect of your life. You wonder what happened to the person you fell in love with. If you’re in a relationship with someone who has ADHD You may feel lonely, ignored, and unappreciated. You’re tired of taking care of everything on your own and being the only responsible party in the relationship. You don’t feel like you can rely on your partner. They never seem to follow through on promises, and you’re forced to constantly issue reminders and demands or else just do things yourself. Sometimes it feels as if your significant other just doesn’t care.   It’s easy to see how the feelings on both sides can contribute to a destructive cycle in the relationship. The non-ADHD partner complains, nags, and becomes increasingly resentful while the ADHD partner, feeling judged and misunderstood, gets defensive and pulls away. In the end, nobody is happy. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can build a healthier, happier partnership by learning about the role ADHD plays in your relationship and how both of you can choose more positive and productive ways to respond to challenges and communicate with each other. With these strategies you can add greater understanding to your relationship and bring you closer together. Understanding the role of ADHD in adult relationships Transforming your relationship starts with understanding the role that ADHD plays. Once you are able to identify how the symptoms are ADHD are influencing your interactions as a couple, you can learn better ways of responding. For the partner with ADHD, this means learning how to manage your symptoms. For the non-ADHD partner, this means learning how to react to frustrations in ways that encourage and motivate your partner.   Symptoms of ADHD that can cause relationship problems   Trouble paying attention If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don’t remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one. Forgetfulness Even when someone with ADHD is paying attention, they may later forget what was promised or discussed. When it’s your spouse’s birthday or the formula you said you’d pick up, your partner may start to feel like you don’t care or that you’re unreliable.     Poor organizational skills This can lead to difficulty finishing tasks as well as general household chaos. Partners may feel like they’re always cleaning up after the person with ADHD and shouldering a disproportionate amount of the family duties.     Impulsivity If you have ADHD, you may blurt things out without thinking, which can cause hurt feelings. This impulsivity can also lead to irresponsible and even reckless behavior (for example, making a big purchase that isn’t in the budget, leading to fights over finances).   Emotional outbursts Many people with ADHD have trouble moderating their emotions. You may lose your temper easily and have trouble discussing issues calmly. Your partner may feel like they have to walk on eggshells to avoid blowups.       Put yourself in your partner’s shoes The first step in turning your relationship around is learning to see things from your partner’s perspective. If you’ve been together a long time or you’ve had the same fights again and again, you might think that you already understand where your partner is coming from. But don’t underestimate how easy it is to misinterpret your partner’s actions and intentions. You and your partner are more different than you think—especially if only one of you has ADHD. And just because you’ve heard it all before doesn’t mean you’ve truly taken in what your partner is saying. When emotions are running high, as they usually do around ADHD relationship issues, it’s particularly difficult to maintain objectivity and perspective. The best way to put yourself in your partner’s shoes is to ask and then simply listen. Find a time to sit down and talk when you’re not already upset. Let your partner describe how they feel without interruption from you to explain or defend yourself. When your partner is finished, repeat back the main points you’ve heard them say, and ask if you understood correctly. You may want to write the points down so you can reflect on them later. When your partner is finished, it’s your turn. Ask them to do the