A Letter To The Guy Who Didn’t Treat Me Like A Priority
“Dear You”, Yes you the one that is reading this letter that I have chosen to write to you,
It is me telling the same story over and over again. It is me writing, reading, and singing to you over and over again. Here I am having this written and sung on repeat over and over again like a broken record that is on repeat.
I just don’t know what bad luck is when and if I have it with guys, as I always bump into someone who isn’t worthy. Worthy of my love. Worthy of my time. Worthy of my life. Worthy of my energy. Worthy of my efforts.
And you were just one of them, guys.
You were just a number. You were the one boy on my list who didn’t treat me like a priority. You were the one boy that was on my list that could have everything that I could give to you but did you return anything back to me
Everyone was more important than me. Your car, materialistic things, and money were more important than me. And I was always the second option or second deal.
I was the one you came to when you had nobody to comfort you. The one you came to when you wanted to have sex. The one who was always there and the one you could always rely on, to lean on, to talk to, to hold me for safety and
You saw how much I loved you and you took me for granted and everything else that came with it too for granted.
You never appreciated my love and I loved you as I had never loved before – with my whole heart and soul.
I was so head over heels in love with you and you were just a man who wanted to get what he wanted and to fade or even decided to walk away when you thought you had enough or things weren’t even going your way.
You didn’t want to commit. You didn’t want our love to last. You never put a label on our relationship.
And you don’t know how much that hurt me. It hurt me like it would hurt any other woman. And even when I told you about that, you said that what we had was magical and that you didn’t want to put a label on it.
And I bought all your shit.
You had found a wicked way to deceive a girl who loved you. You were able to find a way toward my heart and you broke it into a million pieces and with these broken pieces, they’re going to take a while to fix.
You didn’t even ask me how I felt. You never asked me what my aspirations were.
You thought about your needs only. You were my torturer for so many years but I was incapable of letting you go. I thought that my love would make you different. I thought that you would change. Now, I see what and how much of a fool
I was to even think or dream of this.
I was a fool because I was blindly in love with you. And what you felt for me was indifference.
You didn’t even know what you wanted in life.
If you had told me, I would have listened to you and supported everything you wanted to be and become as you would do the same for me.
If you wanted to leave me, I would have let you go. But no, it was more convenient to stay close and take advantage of me.
You did that because you knew that you could. And I blindly accepted all your suggestions and ideas and so much more.
I spent so many nights wondering what I did wrong. Crying at night that I felt at the time when I felt ever so helpless.
I thought I was the reason our relationship wasn’t successful. I thought that I had to change. But the harsh truth was that I didn’t have to change because I was the best girlfriend you will ever have.
Real harsh truth and reality is that you were the one that needed to change everything about you that you needed to change your attitude, thinking, behavior, and more to and towards me.
You were the one who had to decide what you wanted from your life, without telling me your decision. But you were a coward to even do that. You just went with the flow because that was the easier way. And I wanted to fight for you.
But fighting for someone who didn’t want to be fought for is impossible.
Unfortunately, I learned that in a tough way.
Now that you are just a painful past for me, I have learned some important lessons. I learned that I should never settle for less than I deserve.
I learned to love myself in the first place. And I will never let a man play with my emotions like you did. It happened only once and it won’t happen again.
I realized that I am worthy and I need a man who is the same as me.
I deserve someone who will treat me like the apple of his eye.
I deserve a man who will find my happiness more important than his own. I deserve a man whose love feels like home. I deserve a man who will make all my dreams come true.
Too bad now, that man won’t be YOU as you had your chance with me!