This video idea or topic has come about from some of the Autistic YouTubers I’ve been watching recently of the likes of IndieAndy and Invisiblei. While watching them two as well as reading some blogs about this topic, I thought to myself shall I really share my thoughts on this topic? What does need to be addressed is so much here in this.
So, just bear with me as this is only based on my opinions as well as to what I’ve seen and experienced in some Autistic Groups I’ve been in. This is a matter of fact, in response to them both of their concerns/worries for the Autistic Community as a whole.
I want to say that both of these people are brave and courageous to speak their opinions or concerns about this. It does take a lot of guts and thanks for sharing this with us. You are amazing and you’re honesty is real and that it is now time for many of us Autistics should be able to speak out about it all.
Just as a side note before I continue to write or share this video (which will be shared during the month of Autism Acceptance and Awareness month) that will come out during the week of Autism Awareness and Acceptance month, that you can agree or disagree to what I am saying and vice versa if you were to share this with others, I would totally do the same in which is respecting your opinions and views.
I love to hear what you think of somethings even if I don’t always agree with you, I will still engage with you somehow. I want to be able to try and talk to some of the topics that maybe uncomfortable for some people on the Autistic community so that we can be able to connect and feel included in some way.
Let’s be real here I don’t wish it to come across as a lecture or a rant. So, let’s try to avoid it in that retrospect and also to respect our opinions of this matter that need to be addressed. What I’ve seen or heard in the autistic community has really affected me emotionally as we all should be there for one another and that we should be including as much people in our community, accepting one another based on our differences and so much more. Some of the reasons are listed as follows:
1) Some autistics aren’t being heard or listened to what is going on and that some places now are starting to not feel as if it is a safe place or haven for them to talk to others or even just posting what they’re going through without the fear of being judged or excluded from the group just for saying what is going on or even if they’re struggling to use the right terms etc.
Some of this that been hearing or seeing, has given me mixed emotions and feelings through all this as well.
Sometimes, when all this is going on inside the groups, it’s just makes me feel not to be involved in the Community. I am trying to support others as it is a shame really as am sure that there’s others out there that feels the same way or come to some agreement of what I am sharing right now. It’s like that despite it needing the feels to be safe, some days I just take a step back or try to do some other things in my day and conserve that energy for other matters that need to be shared or thought out. Before, I want to continue to share this, I will hope that I can have this conversation open in the discussion/comments section for you all to share what it is that concerns you of the Autistic Community and what you think you would like to see changed. As you are aware that ever since I’ve started writing my blog or even started my channel that I’ve been as real and honest with you guys and inviting you guys on a journey with me as a whole to see what life is like and that I am always willing to try and open up the floorboard to many discussions of different topics and I do my utmost best to answer any questions or concerns.
2) Is having others to try and speak out for or behalf of the Autistic Community– Yes, I believe that many are autistic themselves. Regardless of the connectivity that we are in of the spectrum for Autism and how close we are by having some similar interests to one another yet we are all different and unique souls that I feel right now it’s not right or not even anyone should have the place to at least for anybody to speak on behalf of every autistic person regardless of how autistic or not that they are and how involved that they are in based on the experiences that they may have as every experience we have is different to one another. There are a few people that try to speak on behalf of the autistic community that I may not agree with and vice versa and it is about respecting each others different opinions when it is shared and not to slap it back in our face if you wanted our opinion. Sure, I may see it from a different angle yet sometimes some things need to be met somehow I may say or think differently even if they think that they are right all the time or try to correct me with a few things and that is fine to point but what I am getting at is just they will want to correct you and I know that there are some autistics that are still learning about themselves and others around them.
3) Another scenario right now I’ve seen and heard about is the language preferences barrier between us all.
The preferences to what you wish to be called like I hear alot of people saying what they want to be called. I talked about this in one of my videos which will link here and in the icard and description for you to gain more understanding here to what I am trying to say. Example for this to gain a better understanding is that someone may tweet something like, “I met a person who has autism today.” Then you may have someone that is autistic and is again trying to speak for the whole of the autistic community something like, “On behalf of the autistic community, we’d prefer you to say autistic person.” Yes, I do understand that this is an opinion that alot of people on the spectrum may share but I have preferably have no preference to a point yet I like the feel of the term Aspie for me to be called.
I did share some of the terms that maybe are being used in one of my videos which I will link here:
We need to be patient and be able to guide them the right way. Sometimes, somethings that are being shared with the ones that are trying to agree with you at all cost. It is okay to not agree with a few things.
Here I am saying, “Please stop and think to what you’re saying and doing as not all autistics may want this or like this or even agree to some of this to what you are saying to me.” We need to respect each others differences of opinions and thoughts etc.
I don’t force my opinion on others as I just accept others to how they want or what they want to be called autistic, aspie etc. I don’t like people from some of the Autistic Community to speak on my behalf as I am able to speak my opinions and thoughts on different matters that may matter to me and may not matter to you and vice versa. This also goes to trying to speak on my behalf to share their opinions and views and trying to force it upon me to believe that also when I have come to the point of my life I do my own research etc to line up to what I believe in of my views and opinions. It is again a matter of respecting our differences of opinions and differences of our thoughts.
Just differences in general as well. Some people may have a preference of the language that is fine with me absolutely and others don’t in my case myself and maybe a minority of us that don’t. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s not a right thing or wrong thing. Preferences to language if you do or you don’t is totally cool with me. I will respect that and that goes the other way too. I don’t usually have a preference with language and that sometimes if you’ve watched some of my videos that I may say a few things out of my mouth, like blah blah and sometimes, I don’t filter my language properly and sometimes as you know that when it comes to my speech yes, I speak fast as sometimes my mind is engaging before my mouth or vice versa. I don’t usually police my own terms that I use.
As you’re aware I use the variety of terms that are usually used example, Aspie, Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, Autistics and so on. I know that this can be a bad thing when you’re in an autistic community as I see that most people have a rigidiy of preferences and I try to care and then again not to care as we should be able to express ourselves and be ourselves in the community that we are in. For people that are trying to speak on my behalf telling me how I should be addressing others in the community and not very often I will speak about this due to the fear of being judged, fear of getting a backlash from them etc.
For having some form of language right now, it’s a big thing in the community right now at this given moment. And, you may be seen as you know why isn’t this important to you as it is to us? It should be important to you! I’m like trying to say what I want to say and mean and then I get a few handful of people that will attack me and then I am like needing to have to apologise when it shouldn’t have to be necessary or even trying to validate my feelings or thoughts if they’re valid. I will be like sorry I can’t forever change how my brain is wired and how it is working like a strip of film having to act a certain way etc and that is coming to the term of “Shapeshifing” which again I discussed this and you can view it here:
I shouldn’t have to change something about me or say turning on and off a switch just to be on the right side of you. I would rather try and be as open, honest and transparent to the point of the important topics/matters that I wish to share with you will as well as promoting an open honest conversation with you all that doesn’t involve policing language and that for others to be able to feel safe and be able to express themselves and openly be able to feel what and how they are really feeling like they’re saying something wrong or not saying it correctly. I’ve rather invite and promote these type of conversations than promoting conversations that you have to say everything one hundred percent correct all the time. Yes, we may have some weaknesses in some areas of either communication or some form of language that needs to be had/shared. I may see or hear someone saying something that isn’t right or even about to offend someone but not me but maybe to the person who they’re talking to or addressing some form of topic to that person then if it does get to the point where it may feel it is on the edge of getting a bit controversial or political – if I can and will I will try my hardest to politely correct them and will address it like, “I totally get what you mean, you made a really good point and thanks for contributing to the conversation – just a heads up this tem or this way of wording what you’re wording can be a little bit offensive to some people. Or even some people may even not like this at all so in future this is something that you should think about before contributing or sharing your thoughts.
How about we go about saying this instead and guide them through that process gently and not in a judgemental way. I will carry that conversation yet I won’t totally shut the conversation down despite that there has been a few instances in some of the groups that has happened to me and some fellow Autistics. Just as the conversations we have are flowing and that they’re going okay and that it’s still open and we should be able to not be triggered to what others may say.
4) When I have been in the autistic community that sometimes, as shared earlier or just now that some of the conversations that are being had either that they’re being shutdown or they are just like getting bullied or even removed from the group from the admin/moderator
A huge example to illustrate to get a better understanding about how we work as Autistics that there is someone that’s outside our community group and that they want to know more and are curious, ask some questions or just one question to start that conversation of a topic that they may want to know more of like a person with autism as opposed to someone who is autistic. Yes, for many of us who are autistics we aren’t all experts in the field of Autism even though we live with it we share our life stories and experiences to what we go through on a daily with it. We know for a fact that there has been so many myths/misconceptions and this is still a mystery to the puzzle. Some people in the group that may be policing the language that needs to be said and that some may say, “You shouldn’t say that on behalf of this community, you should say autistic person.” And then they may not respond to the question or don’t like invite a continuing conversation and then the conversation stops or ‘ shutdown and then the person who’s trying to learn and get involved somehow, will end up leaving having a negative response or negative thoughts of what the community that they’re trying to be a part of is really about. I feel as if somehow some of us on the community is preventing people that are interested to learn more about us and the community to come to some understanding about us as well as us we should be creating awareness and acceptance of each other. Maybe to better understand someone that they may know of that has autism or someone that they’re maybe being their support person to understand how they go about things in an everyday situation. Whatever the reason, again I can’t stress it enough that we should be able to feel included and accepted. We know that we are sometimes misunderstood when we are autistics. Yes, we are always going to ask questions and be the mister Curious George. Yet, the ones that are in the community are solely focusing on the way of how some words are said and how they approach that matter or address these different topics at hand.
I have seen in some autistic groups for some that are wanting to know more about us that there are statements, curiosities, questions and so much more that is coming from a lack of understanding yet isn’t malicious as these type of people are just trying to be friendly and may be cautious at the same time. With that lack of understanding then some of the autistics in the community will lash out at them in a negative way. You see some of the autistics in the community will put up a wall of defense or a guard up and expect others to know what to say and how to say it to them and then it is like “Don’t say anything to us until you get these terms right!” This really hurts me when I see or hear others that goes through some experiences like this as we should all be about inclusivity and trying to gain a better understanding about us a bit more and so on and so forth. Please don’t go bashing me as don’t get me wrong that there are a minority of people in the Autistic community that’s not like this at all. I know that there are loads of people that are willing to open up and answer any questions that you may have and open up for conversations regardless of language. They’ll talk from their own personal experiences as opposed to talking on behalf of everybody.
To end this afterthought: Let’s be real I am worried and concerned about the long term effects and consequences of this because the more the conversations that were to be had and that they’re being shutdown along with the refusal of not involving people or including others that may not know about the Autistic Community from when they didn’t do it correctly or with the right language. I feel that we are separating ourselves to the point of no return and that there are some Autistics in the community that their main goal in terms of advocacy and awareness is inclusion and acceptance. We need to bridge that gap between people who are and who are not on the spectrum and this is sadly as I can see isn’t happening at the moment because of the way certain members in the community is acting and behaving towards others. Like shutting each other down or even just some topics down and refusing to talk because it’s not seen as correct in their eyes. Or their opinions/views has gone in a way of having a very open and honest discussion to educate and advocate. From my experience at hand, I know firsthand with the many conversations I’ve had with people that may want to have an autistic friendly environment, or to open up some services to us Autistics, and that they’re worried it may not be deemed good enough or seen as good enough in our community and that they may get backlash from it. Because, everything that they do, will not appeal to everybody, or be deemed as not suitable for everybody based on their needs and so much more. They may have others judging them for not being autism inclusive and it’s not autism friendly. This really upsets me to see or hear this as there are some people that are willing to open their doors to many of us Autistics and giving us a chance in employment as well as just wanting to learn more about our community in general as well as in terms of their business as well as being worried to how we are going to react. People are afraid of us as we are monsters or something or just scared of our community as a whole and scared of opening doors up to us for a chance or an opportunity to work with them. I just want to try and share my thoughts or opinions and actually say to these one that are trying to give us that chance to not be afraid of us. I am in this community and that I wouldn’t blame them for being scared of us as I am scared to just being in a community that we still have a lot to learn and educate in ourselves.