Everything that we do in life is based on the everyday choices we make good or bad and they do have consequences for these choices we come to choose to make. This also goes with our everyday actions as we’re all humans and make mistakes no matter what it is and that it takes courage and maturity to acknowledge that there’s a problem and that it’s up to us to make the choice to either fix it if it does need fixing or to leave it alone. The choices we make are that we want a different result or outcome or a different route for a better way and selves that is if we’re willing to change and accept whatever the outcome of that choice we make.

The everyday choices we make are good or made can also be a self-reflection on how and what we see in the situation as well as inside of us. We need to question ourselves about that problem that has occurred/happened do we want to change or even change the situation? If so, how and what needs to be changed and why did it happen in the first place?

We all need definitely need to see our patterns of thoughts, behaviors, attitudes, and actions through what is going on. When I say old patterns I am referring to behaviours, reactions, feelings, actions, and choices that may be toxic, negative, counterproductive, self-sabotaging, or limiting to your personal growth. Recurring patterns of behavior that keep happening time and time again.  Sometimes, we get so caught up or blinded by it all of these unconscious patterns so no matter if it was or not intentional or unintentional we tend to lose ourselves and others around us. Unconscious patterns that you intentionally or unintentionally keep playing out. You just can’t help yourself.


Recognizing your patterns comes with maturity and the ability to truly love yourself.  Loving ourselves is the most important thing that we can do for ourselves. The day you are able to recognize the patterns in your life is the day you begin to grow, heal and develop the ability to be the best version of yourself. But, only if you choose to. Being able to identify these things can be uncomfortable and painful, causing you to revert back to what makes you feel safe and unexposed. That is all you know so I don’t blame you. The life journey that we are taking right now of ours is ours alone for us to walk, learn, experience, heal, grow, and mature through everyday situations that we come to face. We can all learn things and reprogram our brains/minds inside of us. We have to put ourselves first as no one else will do things for us as we need to show up for ourselves in life. It’s our own work that we need to do to become a better person. Stepping outside of our comfort zone will bring us so many emotions and feelings yet it does take time, patience, and courage.



Also, another key thing we may need to do is “letting go”. This means letting go of anyone or anything that’s holding us down/back to achieve anything that I so desire and crave. I know in my heart that I need to accept some of the changes and circumstances and have trust along with a positive mindset that everything will go to plan. I know that I can’t do everything and accepting what I can’t do isn’t a sign of weakness or failure. It’s about recognizing my own strengths, limits, talents, and capabilities. Recognizing what I can and can’t do is also important for my personal growth and healing if any needs to be done. It’s about learning from our past mistakes and failures along with accepting my faults, flaws, and imperfections.


To anyone on their journey to self-love, healing, and higher consciousness, I challenge you and myself to identify yours and my own patterns. You and I  can unlearn things, you can reprogram your and my own brain, you and I can learn to move in new ways and you and I  can demolish those walls. All you have to do is CHOOSE. You have to put yourself first and choose to show up for yourself because no one else will. It is your work to do, nobody else’s


For some people, stepping outside of their comfort zone is frightening. Others, well, they live outside of their comfort zone. It takes practice, it takes hard lessons, sometimes a slap in the face and it takes courage.


Learning to be present within yourself is number one.

If you are present then you are in control. Some of the things I do to remain present, or practice being present, are yoga and meditation. Meditation took me a long time to get into. It is challenging and sometimes frustrating. Especially for people with creative minds who have a million tabs running in their brains at once. But, that is why it is even more important to practice meditation. Not only does it teach you to be present, but it is also beneficial to your mental, physical, and spiritual health. For beginner meditators, start with yoga. You will have a yoga instructor to bring your mind back when it starts to wander off. And, you get a good workout thus relieving stress and promoting self-love.



In order to break those walls down you must abandon your ego, your victim mentality, blamer mentality, avoidance mentality, your entitlement, your expectations, and your need for control over other people and your surroundings. You just have to cut the bullshit and I hate to say it, but this is the hardest part of it all.




You must find the little girl, or boy, within and listen to what he or she needs. And that is for you to show up for her/him, for you to love her/him, for you to take care of her/him, and for you to put her/him first. Her/his messages are the key to peace and freedom. Talk to your inner child and ask her/him, what do I need to do to ensure you feel loved, respected, wanted, happy, safe, and cared for?

If you don’t have someone to talk to, I recommend finding a therapist or counselor or what I like to call, a healer. For years I was too afraid to see someone in this profession as I was embarrassed by what others might think. But let me tell you, it is the best choice I have ever made when it comes to loving myself and becoming the best version of myself. It can be intimidating but once you get your first appointment over with, it is all uphill from there. And when I say uphill, I mean a steep hike to the very top that requires agility and endurance. It doesn’t get easier but I assure you that once you reach the top, you will look down at who you once were and apologize.


If growing doesn’t hurt, are you growing at all?



If you follow old patterns, doors will continue to slam in your face. Old ways will not open new doors. Nor will they allow you to enter. You cannot unlock the door to success and abundance until you change your approach, your execution, and your willingness to move in new ways.

When I recognized the harmful and toxic patterns in past relationships, I was able to create new patterns to put into practice. For example, in “A Season, A Reason, A Lifetime,” I was able to identify an old pattern of blocking out my feelings and never granting myself closure during a breakup.


But, something inside tells me I can make better choices. I am capable of allowing myself to sit through my emotions and feel what I am feeling. These old ways are not going to benefit my well-being or my journey to self-love. So, I choose. I choose not to do what is familiar and comfortable.


I know now that I have to let go of the need to control my surroundings and others around me. I must learn to let things fall where they may because they will fall where they are supposed to. I have to trust the process and in the meantime, absorb the teachings that come with it. I have to accept that I will not always get what I want. Through acceptance and breaking old patterns, I allow new opportunities to enter my life. Old energy clears and new energy enters.

This is what I like to call, the ebb and flow of life!!


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