What “big emotions” are

Strong feelings like sadness, anxiety, anger, overwhelm or sensory overload can come in waves — and can feel much bigger for a child or teen. These emotions are real and valid, even if they seem to come out of nowhere.

Meltdowns vs tantrums vs shutdowns

• Tantrums: Often have a clear trigger (tiredness, hunger, request denial), short-lived and goal-oriented.
• Meltdowns: Overwhelm overload — sensory, emotional or environmental — leading to loss of control.
• Shutdowns: Withdrawal, dissociation, emotional shutdown rather than outburst. Quiet but serious.

What your child or teen needs when emotions are big

• Safety — physically and emotionally. A calm, predictable space.
• Acceptance of their feelings, without judgement.
• Permission to express distress (crying, noise, stim, movement).
• Time and patience — recovery may take minutes, hours or more.
• Clear communication when they’re calm: “I’m here when you’re ready.”

Ways to help them (and you)

• Help them regulate — breathing, sensory breaks, quiet corners, weighted blankets, dimmed lights.
• Offer choices: “Do you want to shut eyes, move, stim, draw, walk — or just sit?”
• Use simple, calm language — avoid pressure or demands.
• Let them know you believe them: “Your feelings matter. I’m here.”
• Give them a safe space — with minimal triggers, familiar objects or sensory supports.
• After things calm down — check in gently, ask what they need next, avoid judgment.