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Plan, support and move forward — Aspie Answers Work and Employment
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Job References & Referees

A referee is someone an employer may contact to ask about your reliability, skills, experience, work habits or suitability for a role. Preparing your referees in advance can make this part of the application process more predictable for everyone.

💜 This page is specifically about job references and referees. It is separate from the wider Aspie Answers Work & Employment References library, which collects sources and supporting information used across the hub.
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Try referee, permission, manager, teacher, volunteer, first job, privacy, contact details, reference check or limited experience.

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Start with the basics

What Is a Referee?

A Person an Employer May Contact

A referee can provide information about your work, study, volunteering, reliability, communication, skills or how you approached responsibilities.

Different From a Written Reference

A written reference or recommendation is a document. A referee is the person who may be contacted directly by phone, email or another method.

Not Every Employer Uses the Same Process

Some employers ask for referees early. Others wait until later in recruitment, and some use formal reference-check forms or services.

If an application asks for a specific type of referee — for example a recent manager, supervisor or professional contact — follow the employer's instructions where you reasonably can.
Ideas, Options and Possibilities divider
Choose thoughtfully

Who Could Be a Suitable Referee?

Manager or Supervisor

Someone who directly supervised your work and can speak about reliability, responsibilities, teamwork or performance.

Teacher, Tutor or Trainer

Useful when entering work from school, study, training or when your recent learning is relevant to the role.

Volunteer or Community Coordinator

A person who can describe your contribution, attendance, communication, practical skills or how you handled responsibility.

Professional Contact

Depending on the role, a client, project lead, mentor, contractor or other professional contact may be suitable if they know your work well.

Recent Colleague

A colleague may sometimes be appropriate where a manager is unavailable, although employer requirements can vary.

Someone Who Can Be Specific

A person who can give concrete examples is often more useful than someone with an impressive title who barely knows you.

Family members and close friends are often less useful as employment referees unless an employer specifically says personal references are acceptable.
Choosing supportive people who know your strengths for job references and referee support
Choose people who know your strengths, experience and contribution well enough to give genuine examples.
Ask first

How to Ask Someone to Be Your Referee

You do not need an elaborate message. Give the person enough information to decide whether they are comfortable being contacted, and make it easy for them to ask questions.

Simple email or message

Hi [Name], I am applying for a [role/job type] position and I wondered whether you would be comfortable being a referee for me. The employer may contact you about my [work/study/volunteering] and the skills or responsibilities you saw me demonstrate. Please let me know if you are happy for me to share your contact details. Thank you.

If you have not spoken for a while

Hi [Name], I hope you are doing well. I am currently applying for work and wanted to ask whether you would still feel comfortable being a referee for me. I am looking at [type of role], and your knowledge of my [work/study/project] would be relevant. I can send you the job description and an updated CV if that helps.

If someone says no, seems uncertain, or does not respond, choose another person where possible. A referee who feels comfortable supporting you is usually more useful than someone who has agreed reluctantly.
Plan, Support and Move Forward divider
Make the check easier

Prepare Your Referee Before They Are Contacted

1

Tell Them the Role

Share the job title, organisation and a short explanation of what you are applying for.

2

Send Useful Information

Your current CV and the job advertisement or position description can help refresh their memory.

3

Highlight Relevant Experience

Remind them of the projects, responsibilities or strengths most connected to the role.

4

Warn Them When a Check Is Likely

If you know an employer is about to call or email, give your referee a quick heads-up.

Information You Can Give Them

  • Your current CV.
  • The job advertisement or role description.
  • The organisation's name.
  • Why the role interests you.
  • Relevant examples they may remember.
  • The likely timing of contact.

Information to Double-Check

  • Their preferred name and job title.
  • Current organisation, if relevant.
  • Preferred email address.
  • Preferred phone number.
  • Whether they are comfortable with both phone and email contact.
  • Whether their details have changed since your last application.
Checklist Cat preparing job reference details with a practical reference plan
Checklist Cat reminder: prepare the details early so your referee has the right information when an employer gets in touch.
First jobs, career breaks and different pathways

What If You Have Little or No Recent Work History?

Study or Training

A teacher, tutor, course facilitator or trainer may be able to discuss attendance, learning, practical skills, teamwork or reliability.

Volunteering

A volunteer coordinator or community organiser may be able to describe your contribution and how you handled responsibilities.

Projects or Community Work

A project lead, organiser, club coordinator or other person who saw you complete real tasks may be relevant.

Self-Employment or Freelance Work

A client, contractor, supplier or collaborator may sometimes provide useful professional feedback about your work.

Older Work Experience

An older referee may still be useful if they know your work well, although the employer may prefer something more recent where available.

Ask the Employer

If you cannot provide the type of referee requested, you can ask whether another professional, study or community reference would be accepted.

You do not need to invent work history or pretend someone supervised you when they did not. Use the strongest genuine evidence you have and explain the context when necessary.
Skills, Learning and Career Growth divider
Protect contact details

Referee Privacy & Contact Details

Get Permission Before Sharing Details

Confirm that your referee is happy for you to give their phone number, email address and other requested details to the employer.

Keep Details Current

Check spelling, job titles, phone numbers and email addresses before each application. Old contact information can delay a reference check.

Do Not Publish More Than Needed

You usually do not need to place private referee contact information on public profiles, portfolios or documents that are widely shared.

Consider “Available on Request” Where Appropriate

If an application does not ask for referee details yet, you can sometimes wait until the employer requests them instead of circulating the details early.

If an application form requires referee details, use the employer's instructions. If you are unsure what information is required, ask the employer or recruitment contact rather than guessing.
Know what may happen next

When Might an Employer Contact Your Referees?

Possible Timing What It May Mean for You
During the application stage The employer may collect referee details early even if they do not contact them immediately.
After an interview This is a useful time to alert your referee that contact may happen soon.
Before a final decision A reference check may form part of the employer's final comparison or verification process.
As part of a conditional offer Some offers depend on satisfactory checks or other requirements being completed.
Timing varies between employers. A reference check is not a guarantee of a job offer, and not being contacted immediately does not necessarily tell you what decision has been made.
Practical check

My Referee Readiness Checklist

0 of 8 referee-preparation areas considered.

Let's Keep Exploring divider
Companion support

Your Referee Preparation Team

Checklist Cat, official Aspie Answers Companion for steps, routines and preparation
Steps • Routines • Preparation

Checklist Cat

Checklist Cat helps you ask permission, check contact details, send the right information and keep referee preparation organised.

Finn Fox, official Aspie Answers Companion for problem-solving, flexibility and independence
Problem-Solving • Flexibility • Independence

Finn Fox

Finn helps when the standard option does not fit — for example when you have limited work history, an unavailable manager or need to identify another suitable professional contact.

Continue your pathway

Related Job-Application Support

Gentle employment guidance note: Reference-check practices, privacy requirements and recruitment processes can differ between employers, industries and locations. This page provides general preparation and organisation support rather than legal, recruitment or professional employment advice. When a specific rule matters, use the employer's current instructions or appropriate official guidance.