Autistic people may appear strange or intimidating to others, but they can be quite fun and charming once you get to know them. This guide will help explain how to talk to them. As the prevalence of autism increases, the world is slowly (very slowly) adjusting to fit a changing population. Top companies are hiring people with autism for high-powered jobs, autism awareness is growing, and you can now book an autism-friendly vacation. But people with autism are still waiting for what seems like the most obvious adjustment: neurotypicals to stop being afraid to talk to them.     Talking to someone with autism doesn’t require learning a new language or earning a degree. In fact, the rules for having a conversation with a person with autism are the pretty much the same as having a respectful conversation with anyone, and friendships with people on the autism spectrum can be unique and refreshing. Part 1 – Understanding Their Needs 1 Don’t worry about eye contact. Most autistic people don’t make eye contact often, and may feel uncomfortable if you try to force them to do so. Autistic people can usually think, listen, and speak better when they don’t need to make eye contact. If not making eye contact feels odd to you, try sitting or walking side by side, or chatting while doing something that involves your eyes (like drawing or crochet). They may not always look at you when listening to you. Unlike non-autistic people, autistic people don’t always look at the person or thing they are thinking about. 2 Avoid touching them unexpectedly. Some autistic people are highly sensitive to touch, and even a friendly pat on the back can feel alarming or painful. Feel free to ask the autistic person what their likes and boundaries are. For example, some autistic people are distracted by a hand on their shoulder, while others love bear hugs. In general, don’t touch an autistic person without their consent, and try not to startle them. Try asking first: “Would you like a hug?” This gives them the chance to decline if they’re feeling too overwhelmed. If you’re going to touch an autistic person, let them see your hand coming. This keeps from startling them, and gives them time to pull away or say no. Autistic people usually can’t handle touch when experiencing sensory overload. Don’t assume that a “yes” from yesterday will guarantee a “yes” today. Conversely, they might have been unable to process a hug yesterday, but would love a hug today. 3 Find a peaceful area to hang out. Due to Sensory Processing Disorder, an autistic person might have trouble filtering out ambient noises and sights. Thus, it’s a good idea to hang out in a quieter place, so they can better focus on the conversation. Pay attention if they say they can’t handle something. If they say it, they mean it. Sometimes autistic people have a hard time understanding when they’re overwhelmed. If you notice that they look stressed, take them somewhere less overwhelming. 4 Speak clearly and understandably. While some autistic people have no barriers to typical conversation, others may not understand everything you say. Be respectful, and be willing to repeat yourself if they didn’t catch what you said. Here are some difficulties they may face… Trouble with figurative language. Sarcasm and humor may be confusing to autistic people. If they act strange or confused, you may need to clarify that you weren’t serious. Speech processing issues. Regardless of their intelligence or vocabulary, it may take them time to translate sounds into meanings in their heads. Allow for pauses in the conversation, to give them time to think and react. Avoid rattling off long lists of things—write it down if you expect them to remember all of it. Use your normal tone of voice. Avoid talking to adults in baby talk.     5 Be aware of challenges with reading social cues. Autistic people may not understand facial expressions, body language, hidden implications, or hints—it depends on the individual. It helps to be clear about your thoughts and feelings. If they do something that’s socially tone-deaf, assume ignorance rather than malice. It’s unlikely that they mean any harm by it. Since social rules can be harder for autistic people to understand, they may unintentionally say something rude. Assume the best: that they walked away because they didn’t know how to end a conversation, instead of that they walked away because they hate you. Check with them. “I noticed that you didn’t respond when I said hi to you in the grocery store yesterday. Were you ignoring me, or did you not notice me?” They’ll appreciate the clarity. If they hurt your feelings, say so. This gives them the opportunity to realize that you were upset, and apologize to you.     6 Know that you may witness a meltdown or shutdown. Meltdowns occur when an autistic person can no longer suppress their pent-up stress, and releases it in a fit of emotion that may resemble a breakdown or tantrum. Shutdowns look like the opposite: the person “shuts down,” becomes passive, and loses the ability to interact. In both cases, it’s important to give them patience and compassion. Help them find a quiet, private place so they can calm down. Avoid asking questions, pressuring them to speak, or trying to distract them. Give them time. Reduce sensory input. Never grab them without permission or shout at them. Remember, they can’t control it, and they probably feel deeply ashamed about losing control in a public place. Meltdowns feel terrible. 7 Expect them to stim. Stimming is a natural autistic behavior that helps them stay calm, think clearly, feel good,express their feelings, and adapt to a challenging world. When your friend stims, act like there’s nothing unusual about it: ignore it and keep talking, or respond to their emotion (e.g. laughing along with them, or asking if they’re doing okay because they look distressed). They will appreciate your acceptance. If their stimming is interfering with your needs