Abuse, Safety & Recovery Glossary (A–Z)

Clear, non-graphic definitions for safety language, boundaries, power & control, and recovery terms.

Purpose

Words matter — especially in safety conversations

This glossary explains common terms you might see in safety plans, services, counselling, or education resources. It’s written to be calm, clear, and non-graphic.

Content note: This page includes terms related to abuse, safety, and recovery. It is written in non-graphic language, but some words may still feel heavy. You can pause, skip sections, or come back later.

Tip: Search the exact word you saw in a resource or document.

Worldwide support options (if you need help)

If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency number. If you’re not sure where to start, these directories can help you find support in your country.

Find local helplines worldwide

Domestic violence / relationship safety directories

If you’re supporting someone else: listen, believe them, focus on safety, and help them connect with local services.

Letter A

Abuse (general): Any pattern of harm, control, or mistreatment that affects safety and wellbeing.Example: “Abuse can be emotional, financial, physical, or digital.”
Accountability: Taking responsibility for harm caused and making meaningful change.Example: “Accountability includes actions, not just apologies.”
Advocate: A support person who helps you understand options and speak up.Example: “An advocate can attend appointments with you.”
Aftercare: Support steps after a stressful event to help you feel safe and steady again.Example: “Aftercare can be rest, water, and contacting a trusted person.”
Autonomy: Your right to make choices about your body, life, and boundaries.Example: “My autonomy matters — I decide what I share.”

Letter B

Boundaries: Limits you set to protect your safety, time, body, and energy.Example: “I’m not comfortable discussing that.”
Bystander: Someone who witnesses harm and may be able to help safely.Example: “A bystander can check in or call for help if safe.”
Breaking the cycle: Choosing different patterns and building safer ways of relating.Example: “I’m learning healthy conflict skills.”
Belief (supportive response): Taking someone seriously when they share harm or fear.Example: “I believe you — thank you for telling me.”

Letter C

Consent: A clear, freely given “yes” that can be changed at any time.Example: “Consent is ongoing — you can say no later.”
Coercion: Pressure, threats, or manipulation used to get compliance.Example: “Coercion can look like guilt, intimidation, or controlling money.”
Confidentiality: Keeping personal information private (with limits in safety situations).Example: “Some professionals must act if someone is at risk.”
Control (pattern): Repeated behaviours used to limit someone’s choices or freedom.Example: “Monitoring messages can be a control behaviour.”
Cyberstalking: Using technology to track, monitor, or harass someone repeatedly.Example: “Repeated unwanted tracking is cyberstalking.”

Letter D

Digital abuse: Using technology to monitor, threaten, harass, or control someone.Example: “Checking location without permission is a red flag.”
Disclosure: Sharing information about harm or abuse with someone else.Example: “You can disclose a little at a time.”
Documentation: Writing down or saving evidence of patterns (only if safe).Example: “Saving messages can help if you choose to report.”
De-escalation: Steps to reduce tension and increase safety in the moment (when possible).Example: “Moving to a quieter space can help de-escalate.”
Duty of care: Responsibility some services/professionals have to support safety.Example: “Duty of care may include responding to risk.”

Letter E

Emotional abuse: Patterns of humiliation, intimidation, isolation, or manipulation that harm wellbeing.Example: “Constant criticism can be emotional abuse.”
Empowerment: Support that helps a person regain choice, voice, and control over their life.Example: “Empowerment means you decide what happens next.”
Escalation: When harmful behaviour increases in intensity or frequency over time.Example: “Escalation can start small and grow.”
Exit plan: Steps to leave an unsafe situation safely (if possible).Example: “An exit plan can include transport + safe contacts.”

Letter F

Financial abuse: Controlling money or access to resources to limit independence.Example: “Taking wages or restricting transport money.”
Flight / Freeze / Fight / Fawn: Common stress responses used by the nervous system to survive danger.Example: “Freezing can look like going quiet or feeling stuck.”
Forced isolation: Deliberately cutting someone off from friends, family, or supports.Example: “Making it hard to see others is a red flag.”
Freedom of choice: Having real options without pressure or fear.Example: “Choice without consequences is safer choice.”

Letter G

Gaslighting: Making someone doubt their memory, feelings, or reality over time.Example: “They insist something didn’t happen when it did.”
Grooming: Building trust and access to exploit or control someone (often gradually).Example: “It can include secrecy or boundary-pushing.”
Grey rocking: A safety strategy: responding neutrally to reduce escalation (only if safe).Example: “Short, calm replies without extra detail.”
Good faith support: Support that assumes honesty and focuses on safety, not blame.Example: “You deserve care and options.”

Letter H

Harassment: Repeated unwanted contact or behaviour that causes distress or fear.Example: “Messages after being asked to stop.”
Healthy relationship: Respect, consent, safety, and mutual care (even during conflict).Example: “Disagreements happen without threats or control.”
Help-seeking: Reaching out for support from trusted people or services.Example: “Talking to a counsellor is help-seeking.”
Housing safety: Steps to stay safe where you live (locks, privacy, trusted neighbours).Example: “I changed passwords and updated locks.”

Letter I

Intimidation: Using fear to gain control (threats, tone, posture, property damage).Example: “Blocking exits can be intimidation.”
Isolation: Being cut off from supports due to pressure, fear, or control.Example: “I stopped seeing friends to avoid conflict.”
Informed consent: Consent given with clear info and without pressure.Example: “I had the info and time to decide.”
Intervention (safe): Action taken to improve safety, appropriate to the risk level.Example: “Calling a hotline can be an intervention.”

Letter J

Justice (restorative): Approach focused on repair, safety, accountability, and support.Example: “Restorative processes require consent and safety planning.”
Jurisdiction: Which organisation/area is responsible for responding to a matter.Example: “Jurisdiction can affect where you report.”

Letter K

Keeping safe plan: A personalised plan to reduce risk and increase safety.Example: “Code word + safe contact + exit steps.”
Knowledge is power: Understanding terms can reduce confusion and increase options.Example: “Knowing the words helps me ask for the right support.”

Letter L

Legal protection order: A court order designed to increase safety and limit contact (names vary).Example: “A protection order can set boundaries legally.”
Love bombing: Overwhelming attention early on used to fast-track attachment and control.Example: “Big promises very quickly can be a red flag.”
Limit setting: Stating and holding boundaries, especially around contact and safety.Example: “I won’t respond after 7pm.”
Leaving safely: Planning carefully and getting support before leaving an unsafe situation.Example: “Leaving can be the riskiest time — plan support.”

Letter M

Manipulation: Using tactics (guilt, fear, pressure) to control outcomes.Example: “If you loved me, you’d do it.”
Mutual respect: Both people value each other’s boundaries and needs.Example: “We listen even when we disagree.”
Mandatory reporting: Some professionals must report certain risks (varies by region).Example: “A provider may need to act if someone is unsafe.”
Medical neglect: Not receiving essential medical care due to control or barriers.Example: “Someone blocks access to appointments.”

Letter N

No-contact: A boundary where you do not communicate with a person (often for safety).Example: “No-contact can include blocking messages.”
Non-physical abuse: Abuse that doesn’t involve physical harm (emotional, financial, digital, coercive control).Example: “Control can happen without physical violence.”
Neglect: Failure to provide care, safety, or essential needs (context dependent).Example: “Neglect can include not meeting basic needs.”
Normalising: When harmful behaviour gets treated like “normal” over time.Example: “I thought it was normal until I learned the signs.”

Letter O

Online safety: Steps that reduce risk when using the internet or devices.Example: “Two-factor authentication improves safety.”
Overriding consent: Ignoring a no, pushing past boundaries, or using pressure to get agreement.Example: “Repeatedly asking after ‘no’ isn’t consent.”
Orders (legal): Formal instructions from a court intended to improve safety (names vary).Example: “Orders may set contact boundaries.”

Letter P

Power and control: A pattern of behaviours used to dominate or restrict someone’s freedom.Example: “Controlling money, time, contacts, or choices.”
Protection plan: A plan focused on staying safe and reducing risk/contact.Example: “A plan can include safe routes and check-ins.”
Privacy: Keeping personal data, location, and access protected.Example: “Changing passwords protects privacy.”
Public records (caution): Some details may be searchable depending on region and settings.Example: “Ask services about privacy options.”

Letter Q

Questioning (self-doubt): Doubting yourself due to manipulation or trauma responses.Example: “It’s common to second-guess after gaslighting.”
Quiet support: Support that doesn’t require retelling everything at once.Example: “A friend sits with me while I decide next steps.”

Letter R

Red flags: Warning signs that a relationship or situation may be unsafe.Example: “Jealousy + control + isolation is a big red flag.”
Recovery: Healing and rebuilding safety, identity, and support after harm.Example: “Recovery can be slow and still meaningful.”
Restraining / protection order: A legal order to limit contact and improve safety (name varies).Example: “Orders can set clear legal boundaries.”
Rebuilding trust: Learning what safe trust looks like and taking small steps.Example: “Trust can be rebuilt slowly with safe people.”

Letter S

Safety plan: A plan for what to do if you feel unsafe (contacts, exits, steps).Example: “My plan includes a code word and a safe place.”
Stalking: Repeated unwanted contact or tracking that creates fear or distress.Example: “Showing up repeatedly after being asked not to.”
Support network: People/services that help you feel safe and supported.Example: “A friend, counsellor, and a local service.”
Survivor: Term some people choose for themselves after experiencing harm.Example: “Use the term that feels right for you.”
Safety check-in: A quick message or call to confirm someone is okay.Example: “Text me ‘green’ when you’re safe.”

Letter T

Trauma bond: Strong attachment that forms in cycles of harm and relief; not the same as healthy love.Example: “The cycle can make leaving feel confusing.”
Threats: Statements used to create fear or force compliance.Example: “Threatening reputation or finances can be abuse.”
Trusted person: Someone safe you can contact for help or support.Example: “A trusted person knows my safety plan.”
Trauma-informed: Support that considers safety, choice, and nervous system responses.Example: “Trauma-informed care asks what helps you feel safe.”

Letter U

Unsafe: A situation where there is risk of harm, fear, or loss of control.Example: “Feeling unsafe can be emotional, physical, or both.”
Urgent support: Immediate help when safety is at risk.Example: “Contact emergency services or a local hotline.”
Unwanted contact: Contact that continues after someone has said no or set a boundary.Example: “Repeated messages after ‘stop’ is unwanted contact.”

Letter V

Victim: A legal/descriptive term; some people prefer survivor instead. Choice matters.Example: “Use the language that feels right for you.”
Validation: Having your feelings and experiences acknowledged as real and important.Example: “I believe you” can be deeply validating.”
Victim blaming: Blaming a person for the harm done to them (not okay).Example: “What were you wearing?” is victim blaming.

Letter W

Wellbeing: Mental, emotional, and physical health — affected by safety and support.Example: “Safety increases wellbeing over time.”
Witnessing: Seeing or hearing harmful behaviour can also be traumatic.Example: “Witnessing conflict can affect nervous system safety.”
Workplace harassment: Unwanted behaviour at work that creates fear or distress.Example: “Threats or intimidation at work is not okay.”

Letter X

eXit plan: Steps to leave an unsafe situation safely (if possible).Example: “An exit plan includes transport + safe contacts.”

Letter Y

You deserve safety: Safety is a right, not something you earn.Example: “Support is allowed. Help is allowed.”

Letter Z

Zero blame support: Support that focuses on safety and healing — not judgement or shame.Example: “You are not to blame for someone else’s choices.”
Zone of safety: A place (or feeling) where your body can relax and settle.Example: “My zone of safety is a quiet room and a trusted person.”